Loving the Unlovable April 28, 2008

I had said that I would come back and give more of my thoughts on our LIFE Group lesson.  I’m finally doing that.  This is a real lesson in transparency for me.  But here goes….

I have trouble loving the unlovable.  There are some people that just plain rub me the wrong way.  They get on my nerves.  They aggrevate me.  They irritate me.  I don’t even like them, so how am I supposed to love them?

Well, I could give the comfortable, typical Christian answer…..”You don’t have to like them, but you can still love them.”  Can I really?  I guess that depends on how I define the word “love.”

In my mind, love is an action word….not a feeling.  I don’t believe that I can say “I love you” and it mean anything if I’m not willing to back it up.  Our lesson had focused on that a bit and I was glad to see that.  But I want to elaborate on that for a minute.  Bear with me….

If I say that I love you, and then you call me at 2am needing help….what should my response be?  Should I tell you to call back at a decent hour, or should I help?  Sure it’s easy to say that I should help…but the actual doing is another matter.  That can get uncomfortable.  Am I willing to get uncomfortable for someone that I say I love?  Do I really love them if I’m not willing?

Here’s the hard one for me…..

If you hurt my feelings, what should my reaction be?  You hurt my feelings.  Sounds minor, but it’s really huge.  Can I love you enough to tell you that you hurt my feelings?  What if you respond with, “So what?”  Can I still love you?  What if you took advantage of me?  What if you embarrassed me in front of other people?  Can I still love you then? 

What if you just generally tick me off?  Can I still love you?

That gets difficult for me sometimes.  I want to love you, but you just make it so hard. 

So I think that love isn’t always easy.  The feeling of love is very easy.  It’s warm and cozy and everything nice.  But the action of loving takes effort.  Sometimes it comes at a price.  Sometimes I have to lay aside my hurt feelings to love someone.  I might have to get outside of my comfort zone.  And most likely, I’ll never get anything in return.  Am I willing to do that?  Am I really….or do I just say that I am?

I believe that Jesus is the perfect example of what real love is.  His love for us came at a price.  He paid the price because He knew that real love is more than a feeling…it’s action.  He paid the price because He really does love us.  And as a Christ follower, I need to be willing to do the same.  Thankfully, I haven’t had to lay down my life for anybody.  But would I be willing to do that….even for a person who I consider “unlovable?”

Worship Confessional April 28, 2008

Yesterday was another fine day at Heart of Worship in Pineville, LA.  Once again, the church was packed, the music went great & Bro. Keith preached a message that went straight to the heart.  Here’s our set list….

My Redeemer (opener)

No One Like Our God

No Sweeter Name

Amazing Grace

My Redeemer Lives

It was great having Jennifer & Bryant back this week!  And the ensemble really blew me away.  They did some new things, vocally, that really stood out.  The media team worked with perfection…I love it when that happens.  Everyone really put out their best yesterday.  And I believe God really loves that.

We’re working hard to get everything ready for next week.  We’ll be doing a new song and you all know how I love that.  It’s gonna be great!

Introducing RaceCar & Rocket April 26, 2008

Since I’ve mentioned them so much, I thought y’all might like to meet our little friends……

This is RaceCar.  He was saved from certain death when Rodney found him.  Rodney was about to pour concrete for a foundation when he spotted RaceCar crawling around within the frames.  He was so tiny and cute!  We’ve had him with us for about a year and a half now and he’s already doubled in size.

RaceCar is a survivor.  Not only did he escape impending concrete doom, but he’s also survived Jack all this time.  The first time he went missing, it was for two weeks.  Finally, Jack brought him back to us.  He’d been in a toybox the whole time.  Covered in dust and a bit dehydrated, he was very happy to see his tank again.  Poor RaceCar.  That’s not the last time he went missing, but it’s the longest he ever stayed missing.

And this is Rocket.  He was found in our yard about three weeks ago.  He’s obviously still a little baby, but he and RaceCar seem to get along well.  He’s only gone missing three times since he’s been here, so he’s doing pretty good.

Creative Chaos April 25, 2008

I’m a day late but here’s my entry for Creative Chaos.

Starting Sunday night, I will be working with the Youth Praise Team.  They have only been together for two weeks (this will be their third) and they are already off to a good start.  Speedy (our Youth Pastor) has been working with them, but he has so much on his plate already.  This will release him to focus on other things.

We’ll be laying the foundation for a strong team.  We already have a drummer, bass guitar, keyboard, lead guitar and two vocalists.  We would like to add a couple more instruments and a couple more vocalists.  So if you are a teen who is looking for a way to serve in the music ministry, please let me know!

Also, I am going to have some adult musicians partner with these teen musicians to kind of mentor them.  Music lessons are good and we definitely want the youth to keep taking them.  This mentoring program will be to help them musically and spiritually.  There’s much more that goes into leading worship than just music.  Most teens are surprised by that when they first start.  These mentors can help guide and grow them in the area of worship.

So that’s what happening creatively with me this week.  I’m excited about the future!

Worship Pre-Fessional April 25, 2008

As usual, we had our LIFE Group before practice last night.  Gosh, it was a hard one for me.  We talked about how to love people that are difficult to love.  Considering the incident earlier this week, I was really hit hard by this lesson.  We focused on 1John 4:7-16.  I have some more thoughts on this that I’ll share later today. 

And now on to the pre-fessional…..

Of course I’m not going to tell you what songs we’re doing.  But I will tell you that I had a ton of fun at practice last night.  Most of us had a lot of energy and everyone was in a good mood.  That makes practice sooooo much easier. 

Both Jennifer and Bryant are back this week!  Woohoo!  The added vocals and guitar made an immediate impact.  Good to have you guys back!

We really got to work on vocals a good bit this week.  Raymond is ripping the keyboard up with some awesome work.  The media team really brought their A game this week.  Everything was right on target.  Every week should go so well. 

You Can Bite Back! April 24, 2008

Tomorrow is World Malaria Day.  Did you know that?  I just found that out.  So I’ve been reading up on malaria.  The statistics are shocking to say the least.  I first read about it on Crystal’s blog and then started digging deeper for info. This is from Compassion’s website:

*Malaria kills one million people each year

*Most of these people are children

Here’s what shocked me the most….malaria is easily prevented.  One major tool in fighting malaria is a mosquito net.  A mosquito net placed around a child’s bed will protect them from the disease bearing mosquitos that bite them while they sleep.

Here’s another shocker…a mosquito net costs only $10!  I can do that!  For $10, a child’s life can be spared.  For less than it costs to feed my family at McDonald’s, I can save a child’s life.  Yes, I am donating.  Would you join me?  Click the link below, give $10 and save a life.  After you do, please leave a comment here and let me know.

 CLICK HERE bite back against malaria!

Re-Thinking the Situation April 23, 2008

What happened yesterday brought up a whole bunch of unexpected emotions.  Surprise over how quickly I became so very angry, shame over the thoughts in my head, sadness for the woman in the parking lot, concern for my children’s safety, etc.

But after I calmed down and really started thinking about it, I was able to analize the situation a little more carefully.  Now I’m wondering if I did the right thing by walking away.  As Scott mentioned in his comment, a prime opportunity to minister to someone was lost.

Truthfully, had I been able to speak, it probably wouldn’t have been very nice.  I was being attacked and my gut instinct was to attack back.  I wonder why that is.  Why couldn’t my immediate reaction have been love & compassion?  And how could I have immediately shown that to this woman?  Instead of quietly leaving, could I have done more?

What if I had tried to talk to her?  Would she have listened to anything I said?  Or would it have just turned into an argument?  A good friend of mine once said, “After you roll around in the mud with the pigs long enough, eventually you figure out that the pigs like the mud.”  No, I’m not calling this woman a pig.  What I’m saying is that if all she wanted was a fight, nothing I could have said would have mattered. 

On the other hand, what if one kind word was all it would have taken to reach her?  I didn’t utter a single word.  Not one.  And if I had, what could I have said that would reach through her anger?  I just don’t know.

I want to be more like Jesus.  He always said exactly the right thing at exactly the right moment.  People didn’t always like what He said, but it sure got their attention.  He reached out to the broken hearts and spoke healing.  Why didn’t I do that?! 

Not to sound cliche’, but I wonder What Would Jesus Do in that situation?  I don’t know what He would have said, but I bet He wouldn’t have just walked away like I did.  I don’t recall Him ever just walking away.

I honestly don’t know what the best response is to that kind of situation.  I wish I did, but I don’t.  But I do feel like I missed an opportunity.

This part is for the person who started calling from a “Private Number” around 11pm last night:

I am a night owl.  I usually stay up well past midnight.  If you want to call again tonight, you don’t have to hang up.  We can talk.  I promise I won’t yell at you, preach at you or anything else like that.  We can just talk.  Or if you prefer, I can just listen.  And it won’t be public knowlege.  I will not post about it on this site unless you specifically ask me to. 

Remember When I Said….? April 22, 2008

Remember a couple of days ago I said I was going to show compassion.  Gee, it sounded like a good idea.  I thought I might be made uncomfortable a bit.  You know, like giving money to a homeless person or something like that.  Nope, God smacked me upside the head with an issue I never expected.

I was verbally assaulted in a grocery store parking lot.  That’s right….verbally assaulted.  What’s worse is that it was someone I know.  Well, I don’t know her that well.  I know her face, not her name.  We used to go to the same church. 

I was getting my 2yr old out of his carseat when I heard, “HEY!” shouted at me from across the parking lot.  I turned around, recognized the woman, and smiled a huge smile, ready to greet her.  Before she was even two rows away from me, she was yelling at me.  I was so not expecting that…obviously, since it took me a couple of minutes to stop smiling.  I must have looked like an idiot.  lol

She called me all sorts of weird names like “kool-aid drinker” (no, I’m not kidding about that) and “idiot.”  I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out.  I just stood there.  Here’s what was running through my mind…..

1.  Hey, lady, my kids are right here!  Don’t you see them?!  Have you gone completely insane!?

2.  “Kool-Aid Drinker?” 

3.  Are you really saying the words, “I’m the real Christian here” while yelling at me in a parking lot?!

4.  If my kids weren’t here, I would so totally kick your…..

And that’s when the Holy Spirit stepped in.  Nope, He didn’t stop her mouth (though that would have been nice).  Instead, He convicted my heart.  She obviously had some issues that she needed to deal with.  She obviously wasn’t dealing with them very well on her own.  She obviously needed someone to pray for her.

No, I’m not trying to be sarcastic by saying that.  I really mean it.  This is a woman who clearly has problems.  She absolutely should not have taken them out on me in front of my kids.  But isn’t it better that she take them out on me instead of someone who might have done #4 on my list of thoughts? 

I quietly re-buckled the 2yr old in his car seat, got the 4yr old buckled in and left.  She kept yelling the whole time.  I didn’t look back, but I’m betting she was yelling the whole time I was driving away.

I said I was going to show compassion.  This is definitely NOT what I had in mind.  But isn’t that exactly what I need to do here?  I need to pray for her.  And I’m not talking about a selfish prayer like, “Lord, show her that she’s wrong.”  No, instead my prayer is, “Lord, bless her.  Bless her with Your peace, Your love, Your comfort.  In her anger, calm her.  In her sorrow, comfort her.  In her confusion, bring clarity.  Forgive me for my anger.  I’m so sorry.  Thank you for keeping my tongue quiet when I wanted to respond.  Wrap her in Your love.  And when she comes out on the other side of her anger, show her that it was You who brought her through.  Let it bring glory to You so that everyone will know that You can accomplish whatever You desire…even calming an angry heart.”

To be honest, I’m not feeling very compassionate.  But then, I said that I wanted to show compassion, not just feel it.  And I said that I would make compassion a verb.  So now I’m praying for someone that I’m angry with (still working on the anger issue right now).  I didn’t think it’d be easy, but I didn’t think it’d be this hard either.

I’m Such a Heel April 22, 2008

So I’m trying to cheer myself up about the whole food thing.  I started searching Scripture and this is a little of what I found…..

for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.
Proverbs 27:24

So that’s encouraging!  But then I kept reading……

17

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?

18

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

I John 3:17-18

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
II Corinthians 9:7

I’m such a heel. 

But I am still in shock that she gave all of it away.

Whining Over Lost Spagetti O’s April 21, 2008

This is my daughter, Kyra…..

Isn’t she pretty?  She’s also very smart & very compassionate.  She really has a heart for people in need.  Her heart is sooooooooo big, in fact, that it leaves little room for her stomach. 

That must be the case since she gave all of our food away.  Okay, not all of it, but a whole lot.  I went into the pantry tonight to get some tuna fish and discovered that all of our canned food was missing.  She had given it to a canned food drive.  Isn’t that sweet? 

I’m not talking about a few cans of evaporated milk and a bag of beans.  Oh no.  That would have been to easy.  No, I’m talking about every single can in my house. 

That may not seem like much to some of you, so allow me to put this into perspective.  There are two adults, two teenagers, two elementary age and two toddler people in this house.  That makes for a grand total of eight mouths to feed.  Eight.  Next to my house payment, food is my biggest expense.  I spend between $650 and $800 a month on groceries (depending on how many bags of beans we eat).  And I had just bought a two week grocery bill. 

Some poor hungry soul out there will be getting the good stuff this time.  They’ll not only get Spagetti O’s, but they’ll get meatballs too!  They’ll get the industrial sized cans of corn and green beans that I am required to buy for my size family.  They’ll get the canned chicken ($3.50 a can….but a real time saver) that was going to be my lunch later this week.  They’ll get all the good stuff.  It’s back to beans for us. 

I know I should be happy for that poor hungry soul.  I know I should be happy that my daughter has such a compassionate heart.  I’ll hopefully feel that way tomorrow.  Right now, I just want my Spagetti O’s with Meatballs back.