Allow Me to Respond August 6, 2009

I’ve had enough. You know, I remember being an idealistic young girl, thinking I could help change the world. I remember believing my government was acting on my behalf. And up until just recently, I remember being complacent in my beliefs. Well not anymore. Now I’m angry.

Take a look at this little gem:

And now White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs just said that these are “astroturf” protesters (meaning not a real grassroots movement) and that they’ve been incited, organized and paid by healthcare corporation CEOs. Others in the DNC are saying that the GOP is inciting, organizing and paying the protesters.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!??!?!?!?

Let me be very clear about this. I have no grand delusions that they’re listening, but just in case…..I want to be very clear for Mr. Gibbs, Ms. Pelosi, Ms. Douglass, the DNC and POTUS. Listen closely….I AM ANGRY! Me. Personally. My anger is real and it is justified.

I have never been contacted by any GOP member nor has any healthcare official of any kind ever contacted me….and they certainly haven’t paid me anything. ME, I, PERSONALLY am angry. And I’ve been quiet long enough.

You’re right about one thing though. I have been incited. However, I was not incited by the GOP or healthcare CEOs. No, I have been incited by you. How dare you have the audacity to make the assumption that I am too stupid to think for myself. No, I am incited, but by your actions and your statements. There’s a loooooong list of things that have caused this anger to rise in me, but here’s the short list for your convenience.

1. Czars. Yes, I know that other administrations have had czars. But this administration is taking it to the extreme. These czars recieve their funding from the American people, but report directly to the President. They are given the authority and power to circumvent the House and Senate to accomplish their own personal goals. ENOUGH WITH THE CZARS! I want them out….ALLLLLL OF THEM! There should be NO government office that does not answer to the people. Period.

2. Homeland Security now the United States Police Force. WHAT?!?!?!??! Have you people even read the Constitution?!

3. Healthcare. I agree that the system is not perfect. I DO NOT agree that the government should have the authority to step in and take over. When you say that the public option is only an option, that’s an outright lie. According to what I’ve read in the bill (which by the way you should read, it’s quite interesting), I would be allowed to keep my doctor and my insurance as long as I manage to keep my job. The day I lose my job, I will be REQUIRED to take the public option and will NOT be allowed to switch back to a private option upon new employment. That’s just ONE EXAMPLE of the lies about public healthcare that are being salivated out of the mouths in Washington. But I said I would make this a “short” list.

4. READ THE BILLS!!!!!!!!! Tell me Congressmen & Congresswomen & Senators….just who do you think you are? No, really, I want to know. Just who do you think you are? Do you think that you’re so powerful that you can do whatever you like in Washington? Do you really think we won’t take notice? DO NOT PASS ANOTHER BILL WITHOUT READING IT…..ALLLLLLL OF IT!!!! If you have to hire an attorney to understand what you’ve read, then hire them! We have entrusted you with a sacred duty. You are to represent us. I cannot stand on the floor of the House or Senate and cast my vote. I am entrusting you to do that for me. Let me make this perfectly clear….the very next bill you pass without reading will be the end of your political career. The people are watching and we WILL evict you from office if you EVER do that again.

5. ACORN. Investigate. It’s that simple. No really, it is that simple. Stop pouring money into them until you have thoroughly investigated them. I don’t want another dime of my tax dollars fed to them until I know EXACTLY what they’re up to. Period.

6. Cap and Trade. If you pass this, you’re out. According to POTUS “Under my system of cap and trade, utility rates will necessarily skyrocket.” I’m sorry, but all my money is going to be tied up paying for all your other new spending bills you’ve passed. I won’t be able to afford a higher utility bill. I’m already struggling to pay the one of I’ve got. Not only that, but cap and trade wouldn’t even put a dent in the global warming problem (assuming there even IS a global warming problem). So I’ll repeat, pass this and you’re out.

7. SLOW DOWN!!!! You are overwhelming the system and we can’t keep up with all the attacks on the Constitution because they’re coming from every direction. Yes, I know that your whole point of overwhelming the system is to keep us from keeping up. However, what you may not have realized is that we’re onto you. We’ve caught on. We know what you’re doing and we WILL make it stop. You would be wise to stop now before the people force that change on you.

Now the DNC and Press Secretary Gibbs made a mistake when they said that these are organized protests at the town hall meetings. Sadly they are not organized. They are just concerned people speaking out. However, if this keeps up, I think that will soon change. The people are angry and it won’t be long before they do start to organize. Washington, you need to get your act together before that happens. Otherwise, you’re going to find yourselves out of work along with about 14% of the rest of the country.

And to my friends here at home, I know this is not what you’re accustomed to seeing here on my blog. But darn it, I’ve had enough. I’ve never been a fighter, but it’s to the point now where we have to stand up and do something. Look where complacency has gotten us. I have six kids and a lot of bills but you know what? I’m willing to take what few dimes I have and use them to put overpriced gas in my vehicle and head to Washington, insisting that I be heard if that’s what it takes. It is time.

Starting a New Adventure May 22, 2009

We’re starting a new adventure with the kids….well, okay it’s an old adventure we’re restarting and it’s only with a couple of the kids. Gee, myabe I could have worked on that intro a little more.

We’re going to homeschool again! Yay! We homeschooled while we lived in Oklahoma and loved every minute of it. And now the time has come for us to do that again. We’re not doing it for religious reasons (though the benefits are certainly there), but rather for academic reasons. One of our boys has OCD to the point that it makes attending school incredibly difficult for him. We allowed him to remain in school for as long as we did because we truly felt that he needed to be placed in social situations to learn to deal with his OCD. In some ways it was helping, but when his grades started suffering because of it, we knew it was time to step in and make a major change.

Now, as I said, we are not homeschooling all of the kids. Oldest boy is already out of school, oldest girll is in a special needs program that she is thriving in, middle young boy is doing exceptionally well in his school (though we’ll keep a close eye on that) and youngest boy is going to pre-k next year (more on that later).

Ok so the youngest girl we really debated over. She’s neither thriving nor failing in her school. She’s been attending a really super school that uses the Montessori method, but she’s just been kind of lumbering along there. Naturally we would prefer to see her thrive, but weren’t sure if homeschooling were the right choice for her. But after serious thought, we decided that since she’s not thriving in her current school, this might be the opportunity for her to shine academicly. We’ll see.

**note** We felt that this decision needed to be made on an individual basis per child, obviously. Every child is different and every child has different needs, learns differently, etc. If one of our children would be better served in a school setting, then that’s exactly what we’re going to do for that child.

I learned through my homeschooling experience in Oklahoma that I cannot teach my own child to read. There are numerous reasons for this, but the facts remain the same. Now y’all can tell me all day long that I should just keep trying different methods or whatever, but I’m just not willing to put another of my children through that process. Therefore, the youngest son will be attending school until he learns to read. At that point, we will re-evaluate and see if school remains the best choice for him or if we should pull him out and homeschool him.

Now we had to determine which curriculum to use. Having homeschooled before, we are familiar with several types of curriculum. But this time, we were searching for more than just facts and basics. We wanted something that would excite our children and foster in them a genuine LOVE of learning. This is why we have settled on the Charlotte Mason “method.” We truly feel that it most closely matches what we believe about educating children.

There’s just too much to be said about this method for me to go into here, but one of the things that excites me about it is the literature used. The so called “living books” that draw a child in and make them WANT to read more. Some of my all-time favorite books are part of our curriculum this year! Yay!

My next post will give a little more detail about what we’ll be teaching. I really wanted this post to share the WHY of what we’re doing. Of course, this doesn’t cover all the thinking that went into our decision. It’s more of a broad overview. But there it is. 🙂

I’m Still Breathing! Really, I Am May 19, 2009

I know it’s been forever since I last posted anything. I wish I had a good excuse. I don’t. So instead I’ll just give you the straight up truth.

My heart is heavy. It has been for a long time. Sadness and confusion (which do NOT come from the Lord) have been allowed to run rampant in my soul. I’ve opened my heart up like a playground for them….and they’ve sure had fun with me. The problem is that I haven’t had fun with them.

But I recently had a revelation that has healed my heart in more ways than I could possibly say. I’d like to share it with you. Of course, it’ll sound like old news to you. And if I’d heard it at any other time in my life, it might have to me as well. But if it blesses just one of you, then I’m thrilled with that.

Okay here it is:
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

It’s another of those verses that I’ve read a million times and have heard applied to a million different situations. But this time…..this time it’s personal.

For over a year now, I haven’t poured my heart into anything. Not my Lord, not my husband or children, not my work, nothing. To be honest, there just wasn’t much heart left to give. But lately, I’ve been feeling that old hunger well up inside me. Eventually the hunger became a dull roar that I couldn’t ignore anymore. And after seeing that one verse, it’s a roar that blocks out everything else. No longer is my heart on half awake. My heart is hungry again. Craving more again.

If any of my friends and blog readers are still out there after all this quiet time…..y’all know me well enough to know that I can’t keep quiet. When He’s working in me, I can’t shut up about it. I can hardly wait to share with y’all all the love and beauty He’s pouring into me again. And my prayer is that you are getting the very same love and beauty directly from Him yourselves.

I know I’m rambling. Sorry about that. I happen to be sick right now and my brain isn’t quite functioning right. That means you get my ramblings. LOL Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have more clarity and can better share my heart with y’all.

Were They Reached? June 17, 2008

A couple of weeks ago I read this over at Los’ blog. And then a few days ago I read this. I’ve been mulling over this in my head for a couple of weeks and thought I’d share some of my thoughts with y’all. I may be dead wrong or I might be right on target. Who knows? These are just my rambling thoughts.

I’m not leading worship anywhere anymore, so this may not even apply to me. But I’m always evaluating myself, making sure I’m not doing things for the wrong reasons or out of emotion, etc. And these posts by Carlos really made me reflect on my time as a worship leader.

Even when I was on the road, singing secular music (totally for the money), I always said “If you can’t sing with passion, don’t bother singing at all. You need to really know what you’re singing about before you open your mouth.” Well if that applied to secular music, then imagine how much more it applies to leading worship.

Every week I prepared for worship by first checking my heart. It could not be about me. Yes, I prepared vocally, but my primary focus was the spiritual preparation.

So when I stepped onto that platform, my heart was all for Him. Every note I sang was filled with passion for Him. But how did that convey to the congregation? I don’t know. How did the first time visitor see it? How did the lost person sitting way in the back see it? Did they see it as something they wanted to join in authentically? To make a real connection with the Father? Or did they see it as “Becky in Concert”?

I’m afraid my passion was often viewed as “Becky’s trying to put on a show.” I hope I’m wrong. I really, really hope I’m wrong. But I’m also realistic. I’m a very loud vocalist who is best at powerhouse songs. So when one of those songs was on the set list, I sang it to the best of my ability (because He deserves no less) and with all my heart. But nobody can see my heart. They only see the girl on the stage singing loud and moving around a lot (I do move around a lot when I worship….I just can’t sit still).

I wanted so much to engage the congregation…to invite them in to worship with me. I would talk to them about this amazing Love, about how awesome He is. But I don’t know if I ever really got through. How can I know? Just like they couldn’t see my heart, I couldn’t see theirs.

Did someone out there see authentic worship and want to experience it too, without knowing how? Did I, in some small way, help them to connect with Him? Or did I just confuse them more? Did someone out there get the impression that I was putting on a show and get turned off completely? What could I have done differently? What could I have done better to help them enter into His presence?

How many people left empty because I didn’t do enough?

I guess if Carlos, who is a fantastic worship leader, asks himself similar questions, then I’m not so bad. But I can’t help but feel like I could have done more, done better, done something.

Lord, if anyone was reached while I was leading worship, it was all You. But I am so grateful for the chance to have been a part of it. Thank You. Thank You so much. And I know You have a plan for me, I just don’t know what that plan is. But however You want to use me, I’m all Yours. I’ll do it with all my heart. But I need You to help me. I’m so weak and so unable to do anything on my own. Please help me. And please show me where to go and what to do. I feel so lost right now. I can’t even take the next step without Your help.

When Dads Watch Kids May 21, 2008

This is what I found when I walked outside.

Rodney still doesn’t understand why I was so upset. Are you kidding me?!

It’s Home to Me May 20, 2008

Los posted something this afternoon on his blog that reminded me of why I love my home.

I live in Louisiana. Big deal, right? Well, yeah, to me it is a big deal.

I grew up here in CenLa (Central Louisiana) and spent years dreaming of how much better my life would be if I could just get out of here. And then I moved…first moved to Texas and then Oklahoma. I was gone for more years than I care to remember. Both places were ok, but they weren’t home. I always felt like I didn’t belong, like I just didn’t fit there. Not that I didn’t “fit in.” I just didn’t fit.

I said if I ever got back home, I was going to nail my feet to the ground.

So now I’m back home, have been for a few years, and it still feels good. I’m back in my element, among my people, where I belong. But for your amusement, here are ten things I noticed while I was gone:

1. Moss doesn’t grow on trees everywhere else. Seriously. I never knew that.
2. “Fixing to” means nothing elsewhere. Here it means “getting ready to.” Duh.
3. “Coke” is not a generic term for all soft drinks. Yeah, that one surprised me. Here’s how the conversation goes: ME: You wanna coke? THEM: Sure. ME: What kind? THEM: *blank stare* ME: What kind of coke do you want? I have Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, Sprite, etc. THEM: But you asked if I wanted a Coke. ….. you get the idea.
4. People think we have to sweep the gators off our front porch before we can jump in our air boat to go to work. You think I’m kidding? Sadly, I’m not.
5. “Oil” is pronounced with more than one syllable everywhere except Louisiana, apparently.
6. People constantly ask you to talk. Here’s how that one goes: THEM: Say something. ME: Huh? THEM: Just say something. ME: What do you want me to say? THEM: Anything. I just want to hear you talk. ….. huh?
7. People don’t want you to tell where you’re from….they want to guess. My favorite guesses were Australia and Jamaica.
8. My hair isn’t naturally frizzy. As it turns out, it’s just really humid here. 🙂
9. It’s easier to breathe in the summertime when you’re above sea level. That was one of my favorite things about OKC.
10. People don’t look you in the eye. In fact, it seems like they’ll do almost anything to avoid looking you in the eye. Here, you’re mamma would slap the fool out of you if you didn’t acknowlege someone passing you on the street…whether you knew them or not.

Poor Rodney went into complete culture shock when we first moved here. He was amazed that the pine trees were so big you couldn’t wrap your arms around them. He said he’d never seen them so tall either. He’d never heard an authentic Cajun accent before. He’d never been to Mardi Gras. He’d never seen an alligator outside of a zoo and he’d certainly never seen them so big. And he’d never seen so many people be so nice all the time.

That’s one thing about the deep South, people sure can be respectful. I remember having to politely ask people in other states not to tell my children “Don’t call me ma’am.” It’s just good manners for them to do that. Even as little babies, we’re taught to say “ma’am and sir.” And gentility (is that even a word?) counts for a lot down here. I was often asked, when we lived away, how I got my children to be so polite. The answer was simple….I expected it of them. And there really was no avoiding it since every kid in the South is expected to behave that way. It’s easy to be polite when everybody else is too.

I know I’m rambling. Actually, I could go on all day about this subject. But I should probably stop. Thanks for listening to my random thoughts.

Worst Album Cover Ever May 15, 2008

Found this at Steve Carter’s site.

There are no words.

Change Lives Today! May 14, 2008

I just found a revolutionary new way to change lives.  It’s called Kiva.  This is from their website:

1) Lenders like you browse profiles of entrepreneurs in need, and choose someone to lend to. When they lend, using PayPal or their credit cards, Kiva collects the funds and then passes them along to one of our microfinance partners worldwide.

2) Kiva’s microfinance partners distribute the loan funds to the selected entrepreneur. Often, our partners also provide training and other assistance to maximize the entrepreneur’s chances of success.

3) Over time, the entrepreneur repays their loan. Repayment and other updates are posted on Kiva and emailed to lenders who wish to receive them.

4) When lenders get their money back, they can re-lend to someone else in need, donate their funds to Kiva (to cover operational expenses), or withdraw their funds.

I’m really impressed by this for a lot of reasons.  These are my top two:

*  I can make an immediate investment in someone’s life.

*  It’s the gift that keeps on giving.  Once the loan is repaid, I can re-invest that money into someone else’s life.

I’m doing my best to get a link added into my sidebar over there —–> but until then, click here to go to Kiva’s website.  Check it out!

Better yet, make a loan! You can lend as little as $25. The one I chose is the Banda B7 B Group. They’re at only 56% funding for their loan and could really use your help! Click their name to lend them a hand.

Potty Mouth May 7, 2008

We all have bad habits, right?  Or am I the only one?  Here’s a little more of the “authentic me.”

One habit that I struggled very hard to overcome was my language.  I cussed like a sailor.  What’s worse, I did it in front of my kids.  Finally, I became ashamed of my mouth and decided to clean it up.

So I thought I’d quit cold turkey.  I just wouldn’t use that language anymore.  Yeah right.  Well that didn’t work.  I found that the only way I could stop was to replace the words with something else.  So that’s what I did.

Rather than use #($& or *(&#, I started using words like gosh, golly and gee.  Now nobody makes ugly faces when I’m speaking.  They can’t….they’re laughing too hard.  My friends pick on me and tell me that I sound like an episode of Leave it to Beaver.  I say that’s better than the alternative.

But tonight I realized that I sound nothing like the Beave.  I actually sound more like Gomer Pyle….

  Gaaaawwwwlllleeeeeeee.

It must be the Southern accent.